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September 22, 2013

On Ed Miliband Returning Socialism to Britain

From time to time some clown on the political left makes a speech so full of inane claptrap and that so bristles my view of economic reason, I feel compelled to paraphrase their words into a more suitable form... to disabuse those who may be swayed by such bombastic nonsense into believing that the policies promoted by the orator actually make economic or political sense.

The latest speech to rub my nerves the wrong way comes from the mouth of Ed Miliband who summarized his intent as bringing socialism back to Britain. Mr. Miliband's summary itself reveals how much deception is required to push socialist policies. Britain already runs costly social programs yet he wants to pretend that somehow socialism is missing from his country. Anyway, let's delve into a few of the more bilious statements in his speech.

One of the proudest achievements of the last Labour government was the national minimum wage, making work pay for people.... we will strengthen the national minimum wage, we will make work pay for the workers of Britain.

Translation: Due to our linear mode of thinking, we believe prosperity can be legislated through price fixing. We believe that jobs that cannot support pay above an arbitrary level should be outlawed, reducing employment opportunities for the poor and unskilled while perhaps helping only a marginal group at the fringe of our arbitrarily chosen level.

When we see that happening and when we think about one of the big banks, do we really think they can't afford to pay their cleaners a bit more?

Translation: We undoubtedly know more about what every corporation in Britain should be paying their vendors than the people actually running the companies. We also have no doubt that every employer is, by default, evil and greedy and trying to suppress workers because of an inherent inability of said workers to negotiate for themselves. Ultimately, we fail to recognize that managers are only agents of the owners of a company and that to offer vendors more than the wage for which they are willing to work would actually be unethical.

We will legislate for a primary school guarantee that every school is an 8am to 6pm school.

Translation: True to our effete political methodology, we will once again apply a linear response to a problem by passing legislation that pretends the shortfall is merely the product of the unwillingness of others to be good people. The facts that teachers might be forced to work 10-hour days or that costs will increase dramatically as a result of employing additional skilled personnel (the existence of which has not been considered) and increasing insurance and utility fees will be ignored while we push our feel-good agenda. These predictable complications will be addressed via another round of emaciated logic.

Under the Labour proposals, parents would be able to sue local education authorities or free schools that failed to ensure "wraparound" care for every pupil.

Translation: Did I mention that these free schools who refuse to increase their cost and liability structure... for free... can also be sued for failing to do so?

Unfortunately, Mr. Miliband's speech only touched on a small part of the left's desultory platform. Otherwise, we could have had some real fun here.


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